If the author’s axiom “write what you know” is worthy advice, I haven’t heeded it. From the get-go, with my first series, I wrote from a man’s point of view. It felt natural, which makes me wonder if a psychologist would have a field day with my psyche. My surface reasons for writing from a man’s perspective, however, are less complicated. The series features a masculine homicide detective crippled by a childhood sexual abuse, the damaging effects of which are somewhat unique to men.
Passion fuels the process
When I began researching this subject, male molestation was underserved in psychotherapy, which is exactly why I wanted to shed light on it. I couldn’t stand the thought of that betrayal and loss of innocence, especially in children, and so much of it exists throughout human history. I wanted to explore why.
Many people bury their crisis instead of facing it head on, so, I instilled in my protagonist the desire to unravel his mental knots. Conveniently, for Gabriel McRay, the main character, each case he solves triggers a vital point in his recovery process, which helps him along.
For instance, male sufferers of this sort of abuse tend to feel powerless and emasculated. In the book Deep into Dusk, Gabriel grows irritated with his girlfriend’s strong personality. Dr. Ming Li, the county Medical Examiner, has a better paying job than Gabriel and glows in the confidence of a person happy in her success. In this book, the two argue and break up. Along comes another woman who appears to be very fragile (she’s a witness in Gabriel’s criminal case). He becomes attracted to the witness, mostly because she makes him “feel like a man.”
Unfortunately for Gabriel, this woman is not who she appears to be. By the novel’s end, our protagonist has learned a valuable lesson and incorporates it into his healing process.
I purposely made the psychotherapy in the book as true to life as possible. What I couldn’t glean from the Internet or from reading books, I got from the professionals. More than one psychiatrist guided me in my research because I wanted to cover the right bases.
The pitfalls of gender training
Writing from the male victim’s point of view gives Gabriel’s journey-to-better-mental-health more impact than, say, if I wrote from the perspective of his girlfriend or his mother.
Of course, when you want to “think like a man,” there’s always a risk. John Gray wrote a book called Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. In it, he states:
“Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do.”
To an extent, that’s true. Thankfully, there’s a lot more gender-blending going on these days than in years past. The roles of males and females (or non-binary people) are not so traditionally defined.
Still, there are practical considerations. I found myself asking my husband things like, “Couldn’t men sit down when they urinate?” and “Do you absolutely hate having to shave every day?”
I even hit up my son with lots of questions. It’s okay. My family is used to me.
To an extent, my efforts have paid off. I have an equal number of male readers as I do female readers, so that tells me the men are not offended by this woman stepping into their mental terrain. The best email I ever received was from a man who confided to me that he suffered a similar childhood experience as Gabriel. I deeply sympathized with the reader but felt very grateful when he wrote that the therapy sessions in the book were helpful to him.
That said, the female in me does manage to creep into Gabriel’s POV.
Unintentional role reversals
Students of creative writing at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) did a character breakdown of the books and pointed out how much they enjoyed the role reversals. What role reversals?!
I looked at the book series through their eyes and realized that Gabriel does the cooking, while Dr. Ming Li, his high-powered girlfriend, is the major breadwinner (she also owns the bigger house). Gabriel is a pretty sensitive guy, and Ming has more of a tendency to “pick a fight” than her cop boyfriend.
The students, however, took well to the couple’s yin-yang, dualistic relationship and found it believable. I kept my mouth shut and pretended I created the role reversals on purpose. How’s anyone gonna know, right?
Gabriel’s sensitivity to people makes him a better detective, in my opinion. I believe men rely on intuition as much as women do.
In an article from The Huffington Post, Dr. Laura Day writes:
“Traditionally, women have occupied roles that require the ability to respond to the needs of others, making those around them feel known in a deep and meaningful way. Compassion, creativity and feeling are the tools that were needed for traditional female roles. However, men who survived in the business world, whether as soldiers, hunters or tribal leaders, used intuition.”
She might have inserted “investigator” in that list as well.
The man in me
If you believe in past lives, then you probably believe you lived as… Well, this being 2022, let’s say whatever gender is out there. I happen to be quite handy with tools. Does that make me a man? My husband, like the majority of great chefs, enjoys cooking (the benefits of which I enjoy with gusto). I’ll admit, I do the clean-up. Does that make me a woman?
The bottom line is, I feel quite comfortable writing from a man’s point of view. In the beginning, I found it quite empowering. Go figure that one out.
That said, I don’t think I can escape putting a little female perspective into my characters. Perhaps the more people put themselves in someone else’s shoes, the less one can accuse us of coming from different planets.
About Laurie Stevens
Laurie Stevens is the author of the Gabriel McRay thriller series. The books have won twelve awards, among them Kirkus Reviews Best of 2011 and a Random House Editors’ Book of the Month.
Laurie’s latest book, In Twilight’s Hush, was listed in the Silver Falchion Award’s Top 6 Books of 2021 and Kindle Book Review’s Top 10 Mystery/Thrillers. In regards to writing thrillers, Suspense Magazine says Laurie is “the leader of the pack,” while International Thriller Writers claims she’s “cracked the code” of writing psychological suspense. An active member of Mystery Writers of America, International Thriller Writers, and Sisters in Crime, Laurie lives in the setting of her books, the hills outside of Los Angeles with her husband, two snakes, and a cat.
For more on the author please visit www.lauriestevensbooks.com
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What an interesting post! I mainly write from a male perspective in my novels, and thinking about my writing after reading this post makes me realize I prefer men with a touch of the female in them, as I find they are more sensitive and attuned to themselves. 🙂
I’ve written male protagonists as well, and it’s a fun challenge to get it right!
Two writers after my own heart!
A writer after my own heart!
As a reader of Laurie Stevens works, it impresses me the level of research and thoughtfulness that go into every detail of the book. Given that June is actually Men’s Mental Health month, it is fitting that more light be brought to the sensitivity of a man. These books are not only fun to read but speak volumes of more serious issues that are seldom brought to light in literature.
That’s a really good point. We’re all still human beings, and we struggle with the same issues; it’s just handled differently, and the more that we can help draw parallels between each other, the more sensitive and understanding we can be. Fictionalized versions of real life issues makes for a great tool to help people come to those realizations.
Thanks for sharing! It really is interesting witnessing the evolution of gender roles. I think some of the most successful relationships are ones where these traits and habits are more hybrid. Who is making these rules anyway?
On another note, I really appreciate you bringing up male molestation. I think as a community we are hyper-focused on females being the victims of this (unfortunately common) crime but we forget that males are victims too.
Yes, it’s so great that she’s bringing these important issues to light in her work. Thanks for the comment!
Love these astute observations!
I really enjoyed reading Laurie Steven’s book! She is an incredible writer. Writing from a male perspective as a female writer is beyond extraordinary. I can’t wait to read more from this incredible thoughtful author.
Thanks for reading! I hope both male and female readers check out her book!