I wrote my first book as I finally came to understand who I was.
Many writers wait for the “perfect time” to begin something new, but that moment never came for me. I started Lost Time while I was married. Not long after, I was suddenly separated, with one child who was still a baby and another heartbroken over our family splitting up.
I got divorced, left the first home where I had started raising my family, and moved into a place I had to manage by myself.
It’s crazy to think about, but I ended up writing most of Lost Time while going through a divorce, raising my kids, and working full-time. I was trying to heal and figure out how to move on with my life.
A lot of people in my circle were shocked that I was writing a book during a time when I was, quite honestly, messed up. Divorce will do that to anyone. Needless to say, those emotions came out in my debut novel. At the same time—confusingly then, but clear now that I look back—I was wrestling with questions about my faith.
How do you trust that things will work out when your life feels completely upended? How do you hold onto hope when everything familiar has changed? These questions weighed on me every day. My mind was constantly thinking about how I became a divorced mom with two children at such an early stage in life.
Eventually, I realized, I had to start allowing myself to question what I believed and think for myself
How I wrote through the pain and confusion
Despite the emotional and practical challenges, I continued to write. I had to find small blocks of time in my mornings, during lunch, and late at night. Writing became both a discipline and a lifeline. It helped me process my experiences and gave me a sense of control when everything else felt uncertain.
Through this process, I learned that writing during difficult times can be surprisingly powerful. The very things that feel overwhelming can deepen your work; it certainly added meaning to mine, and made it resonate in ways calm, convenient circumstances never would.
Writing through life’s challenges
Let me take you deeper into what those months actually felt like, from a very personal level.
Divorce brings more than legal paperwork and schedule changes. It brings grief, exhaustion, and a constant sense of feeling as you failed and let the people you love down the most, especially with children.
I was learning how to make decisions on my own again while also trying to show up for my kids in a way that felt steady and reassuring. Some days, simply getting through the day felt like enough, there were days I honestly could barely get by. Writing a novel felt unrealistic, if not impossible.
But there’s more.
While going through all this, I was dealing with questions about my faith. I had always believed that things happened for a reason, but during that season, I struggled to see the purpose in what I was going through. I asked hard questions about trust, loss, and whether the life I was building would ever feel whole again. These questions did not have easy answers, and they stayed with me as I wrote.
Writing became part of my therapy, and my book held a lot of who I was during that time.
Writing did not fix my life, but it gave me a place to be honest. I wrote early in the morning before the house was awake, during lunch breaks, and late at night when the day finally slowed down.
I also wrote often when I didn’t have my kids. I’ve never been super social, and although I did see friends occasionally, there was plenty of time to wander to a random restaurant and type for hours. I also met people and had conversations that guided me in my experience. I learned that all people go through intense pain. It’s just part of the human experience.
Progress was slow, my brain was often in a fog, but it was steady. And there would be moments of intense clarity where I really felt empowered. Those moments really helped me pull through and weave the deeper part of the story line.
How my experiences helped shape my debut novel
This is where the chaos transformed into clarity. As I worked on Lost Time, I realized that this difficult season was shaping the story in ways I could not have planned. The themes of time, choice, faith, and longing were no longer simple ideas that had little to do with my real life. They were questions I was actively living through. Writing during this period forced me to be honest, both with myself and with the story.
Looking back, I see now that waiting for life to feel calm would have meant never writing this book at all. Writing during a time of loss and healing gave the story depth and clarity. It also reminded me that creativity does not require perfect circumstances. Sometimes it grows best when life is messy, uncertain, and unfinished.
This brings me back to where I started: the myth of perfect timing. If we wait for the perfect time to do anything, or at least our human idea of “perfect,” that time will likely never come. The most brilliant thoughts and ideas in life come to me in my darkest moments. And that is a very human experience.
About the author
Holly Trost is a passionate writer who draws on her life experiences. She started as an Instagram influencer who spoke on introversion and later found a love for sharing poetry and writing stories.
With a BA in social science, Holly works from home, juggling deadlines and two kids like a pro. When she’s not writing, Holly is usually getting lost on a trail, reading, or hanging out with her close-knit family and friends. Her Christian faith is a big part of her life and shows up in her writing, especially in the pieces that reflect the messy, beautiful realities of life.
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