Why do people love to read about enemies to lovers so much? I think the answer is simple: We as humans love a good redemption arc. We love to know that people can change, that misunderstandings can be fixed, and that two people with wildly different points of view can learn how to love each other.
It’s nice. It gives us a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
I am one of the many who can’t resist a good hate-to-love arc. I even like writing them from time to time. I’ve seen it done well, and I’ve certainly seen it done poorly. I’m sure you have too.
The enemies to lovers trope is definitely one that is heavily couched in the conventions of genre fiction, since very rarely in your day-to-day do you encounter a couple who claims they were once bitter rivals before they fell in love.
Because unless you’re BBC’s Sherlock Holmes, people don’t have arch enemies. (Sorry, dated reference–but I couldn’t resist!) And even so, you’re probably talking about two coworkers or classmates who didn’t get along, not a prince and an assassin or a spy and a soldier.
But who cares? We’re not here for realism, we’re here for escapism!
However, even a fictional escape needs to be believable within its own context, and romance tropes are no exception to that. So here are the observations of a long-time reader and writer on how to write an enemies to lovers arc that works!
When enemies to lovers doesn’t work
Romance and romantic subplots thrive on varying degrees of tension and discord. There’s something especially attractive about forbidden love; otherwise, it wouldn’t be so popular. The problem lies not in the concept itself but in how it’s executed.
Like all popular tropes, using it for its own sake is probably not going to enhance your story. A lot of books benefit from a romantic subplot of some kind, but there are plenty more that could’ve been stronger stories without them.
Nowadays, however, (thanks to popular trends) romantic subplots get shoehorned into nearly every piece of media, whether it makes sense for them to be there or not.
And what’s the go-to romance trope of the season? You guessed it: enemies to lovers.
The fact is, forcing anything in your writing bodes ill for your story as a whole. If you’re wondering whether or not to incorporate enemies to lovers into your plot, you have to ask yourself: Does it make sense within the scope of the story?
If not, then toss it out. You’re not beholden to anyone. It’s your story; write it how you want. Plenty of great books do fine without romance or by focusing on other types of relationships instead.
But what if I want to write an enemies to lovers subplot?
Then you need to ask yourself why: Why am I writing this subplot? Is it because it makes sense for the story or because I feel like it won’t be as “likable” without it?
Maybe your motivation is as simple as, “Because I really want to.” Then that’s perfectly fine–just make sure you have a plan for how to work it into your story in a natural way.
Because when you don’t have a plan, you will likely run into a second problem: Why are your characters enemies in the first place?
Do they have a good reason to hate each other so much? Is it personal, societal, cultural? Hate is a strong word; there needs to be a good reason for it, otherwise, you’re starting from a shaky foundation. Just saying “I hate him because he’s the worst” is not enough to justify an entire enemies to lovers arc.
Which leads me to my next point: Yes, he’s the worst, but then why do you like him?
Enemies to lovers implies a transition from one to the other
The other problem I see with enemies to lovers–and I’ll try to say this without sounding like the morality police–is that the hatred never really goes away; it’s just at odds with attraction. But that’s supposedly sexy, right?
Perhaps so. But from a character development perspective, it’s flimsy as heck. If you want your characters’ relationship to last for the long haul, you need a better reason than “oh no he’s hot!”
So then, you must ask yourself this question: Why do these two alleged enemies like each other? What causes them to start seeing the other in a different light?
Does one save the other? Are they forced to work together for a common goal? Do they learn to sympathize with each other? Do they realize that they judged the other too harshly based on assumptions?
The reasons are up to you and your story; just make sure there are reasons to begin with.
In any case, just the name “enemies to lovers” implies an upwards curve–their relationship should get better the further you go. Not perfect, not without problems or challenges for the couple to overcome, but better.
So what does a good enemies to lovers arc look like?
Putting all that together, what are the ingredients for a really strong, compelling, character-driven enemies to lovers subplot?
- Two characters who have conflicting goals, or who dislike each other for legitimate reasons that make sense within the world of the story.
- A legitimate reason why they have to interact with one another. It can be circumstantial, just not too convenient.
- Enough “screentime” together that they can’t help but get to know each other. The arc can begin with fatal attraction, but it has to ground itself in actual character development. In other words, please have them do more than just have sex and then go back to hating each other afterward.
- Highly recommended: at least one scene where one or both of the characters show unexpected kindness or partiality toward the other–often at the expense of their goals, their ideals, or their pride.
- A turning point. There has to be a point of realization for both parties (it can happen at different points in the story for each of them) that they were mistaken about the other, or that their feelings toward the other have changed.
- Actual character growth. If one of the parties is a murderous villain and the other is a heroic protector, you probably want the former to see the error of their ways at some point. And yes–the power of love can be a good enough reason. But I don’t care how sexy your villain is; a relationship divided against itself cannot stand. Something’s gotta give!
- A confession! Come on, you gotta have a confession at some point. Set up and payoff, baby!
Other things to note
Here are some finer points that may or may not apply to you depending on how you write:
- Limit backsliding. What I mean by this is, don’t have them flip-flop between love and hate the entire time. Feelings ebb and flow, and within the plot, you might have a point where one character betrays the other or makes the wrong choice… that’s fine. Just don’t do that over and over again, or else it takes away the impact.
- Get rid of the word “hate” at some point. Honestly, I don’t think love and hate can exist in the same space in a healthy relationship. If they do start out hating each other, eventually that hate has to melt away. Maybe they jokingly say it to each other, but it’s no longer a conflation of love or attraction.
- Please, no abuse. If one character hurt the other while they were still purely enemies, that’s fine, but there is nothing sexy about an abusive relationship.
- Don’t be afraid of forgiveness. A lot of why writers flounder around in an enemies-to-lovers arc is because they don’t want the characters to commit to forgiving each other, especially if one did something heinous to the other. Now, in life and in fiction, forgiveness takes time. Trust is earned. But if the two characters fall in love, there’s only so far you can push that love without also addressing forgiveness. It’s not mushy-gushy or “lame.” It’s a sign of real trust and maturity, and I think it makes a great turning point in a story when the characters are ready to forgive each other.
Writing enemies to lovers: final thoughts
With all that in mind, you are now fully equipped to write a kick-butt enemies to lovers subplot that is compelling, believable, and healthy. For further reading, here are some examples of enemies to lovers in fiction and what you might learn from them:
- Abel and Noemi in the Defy the Stars trilogy by Claudia Gray: my personal favorite and go-to example for enemies to lovers done right.
- Ethan and Olive in The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren: They don’t have a great reason to hate each other, but their development from rivals to lovers is pretty dang good.
- Nathaniel and Elisabeth in Sorcery of Thorns by Margeret Rogerson: a good example of misunderstandings based on assumption.
- Nina and Matthias in the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo: I’m actually on the fence about whether I like their arc or not, but I think it’s a good character study and their reasons for hating each other are well-established in the world of the story.
- Jude and Cardan in The Folk of the Air trilogy by Holly Black: They break my “hate” rule, but they are a good example of legitimate enemies forced to work together, and I really like Cardan’s development as the misunderstood antagonist.
About Becca Mionis
Becca Mionis has been writing stories ever since she first figured out how to string words together into semi-coherent sentences. Evidently, not much has changed since then.
A native of Kansas City, she graduated from William Jewell College with a BA in English and a minor in music performance, jumping feet first into freelance copywriting while continuing to write fiction on the side. Music remains a large part of her life as well, though largely for fun.
Aside from words and sounds, she also enjoys film analysis, comedy, cooking (i.e., eating), and general housewifery, which is definitely a word in the English language.
She lives in South Carolina with her wonderful (though chronically sarcastic) husband, their overzealous husky, and a cat who is the physical embodiment of the word “whatever.”
The Last Celestials is her first published novel.
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Love this helpful article; I am a big fan of enemies to lovers and enjoy seeing the trope in action even when it is not a romantic relationship as the end goal. 🙂
Thanks for reading! It’s a fun trope, but this article really drives home the fact that it has to be done just right in order to work.
I was just talking to a fellow reader yesterday about the enemies to lovers trope! She had said she loved it, and I told her that I did, too, but couldn’t help but add, “It has to be done well!”
Very true. Otherwise, it can just be irritating.