Parenting Essays by the Blogging Community

Below is a collection of essays written by fellow bloggers on the subject of parenting. More specifically, these three essays cover what it’s like to conceive and give birth to children. Check them out below, and be sure to follow these bloggers using the links in their bylines. And if you’re looking for additional reading, check out my previously featured parenting blog posts at the links below! All links will open in a new tab.

What it’s like to choose a sperm donor

By: Kelley Gusich

Website

Twitter

Kelley’s Chalkboard Outlines Cozy Series

Down in the Belly of the Whale

Kelley Kaye’s Kozy Korner on Facebook

Kelley Kay Bowles on Facebook

Part 1

In the late 1990’s, after a young marriage, quick divorce and a devastating MS diagnosis, here’s me with a serious need to nest. Babies was the scenario I longed for but the biological clock…I was starting to think it was a cuckoo clock. I decided I didn’t need a man to make a baby, at least not since they started growing them in Petri dishes. I was filled with self-righteous feminism, or maybe it was just this dream I’d had since the age of seven looking like it would come to a crashing end if I didn’t get on the stick. I started researching sperm donation.

The cryobanks had files for each donor, and prospective mommies could check out donors based on anything: hair color, race, eye color, education, medical history, you name it, and each one had filled out all their information by hand. I thought I was like the first person ever to analyze the handwriting of the donors as a part of my selection process, but of course everyone did that. Number 3442 (I called him Christopher) had very neat, small handwriting.

“Christopher” was born in 1975 of French, German, Polish and Russian descent. He was 6’2,” 175 pounds, no negative medical history. Plus, the cryobank had provided me with an audio snippet of him talking. His voice was gentle and sounded like there was a smile inside. I also got a picture from his toddlerhood: an adorable little boy with a curly mop of hair and green eyes.

But the clincher for me was his occupation: he had a degree in FILM and, get this, he was a WRITER! I figured if I was going to pay for somebody’s sperm it should definitely belong to somebody I’d want to date. The next step was to pay an exorbitant amount of money to ship a vial of frozen sperm my way. It was sent to my OB-GYN, where it waited until that ovulation predictor kit gave me the green light to show up at his office.

Of course, it didn’t work.

Which turned out to be a good thing, because while I was scheduled to meet my husband in April 2002, I didn’t actually meet him until October.

What it’s like to try and get pregnant through donated sperm from a cryobank

By: Kelley Gusich

Part 2

Once I got to the gynecologist—don’t forget to put the gown opening in the back—I did the usual amusing stuff: feet in the stirrups, speculum cranking away. Oh joy. Now make no mistake: having a stainless steel can opener inserted into your vagina so unthawed sperm can enter is a very un-fun way to get the sperm in there.

And the swimmers don’t just get dropped in once that hole is stretched out, no siree.

I’ve heard rumors about Insemination Parties—tequila and turkey basters, whoopee. That seems fake to me, but I suppose if you’re just collecting sperm samples from someone who’s at the party instead of paying 600 bucks a pop to have a vial sent from California, then hey, let’s celebrate!

But here at the doctor’s office, he doesn’t just drop it in, shout Bon Voyage! at your crotch and hope one of them can make the transatlantic journey. He takes a skinny little tube—called a catheter—and maneuvers it up through your cervix (this is a small space, tricky and uncomfortably pinchy) so he can deposit the sperm directly into your uterus. That way the sperm is not making a transatlantic journey, just a jaunt up the coast, and maybe one amongst the millions has a better chance of making it all the way into port.

After he’s done, I have to lay there, knees up, for a while—another technique to help the swimmers go the right way, and then I’m done and I go home.

After two or three tries, it doesn’t work, which is a good thing because my future husband has already started working his way from Phoenix to Colorado to meet me!

What it’s like to have a baby

By: Marian Wood of Just Muddling Through Life

Blog – Just Muddling Through Life 

Facebook 

Twitter 

Nothing can prepare you for being a parent. The awesome love that you feel for the warm bundle that is now your responsibility.  The nights of little sleep, the cliquey baby groups, and feelings of self-doubt.

My children were delivered by Caesarean section. It was nice to have a date but I feel that I missed out on the birthing experience.   I’ve heard painful stories of childbirth, and others that are walking around the supermarket hours afterwards. Recovery from C – Section is hard; it is major surgery, and I will always have the scar.  There are still times where, if I move awkwardly, I still feel pain in that area.

I spent two nights in hospital.  Exhausted and breastfeeding a child that will not sleep.  With terrible pain where the surgeon has operated, and the excruciating pain of feeding a new born (I was prepared second time with Lasinoh Cream, and I highly recommend it).

With my first, I didn’t know that breastfeeding was supply and demand. I felt that I had failed due to him not gaining sufficient weight.  I combination fed with formula, from the breast, and expressed milk until he was a year old.  With my daughter I expressed and breast fed on demand.  On return to work, I continued to express three times daily, twice during my work day, often in my car with my Avent manual pump, until she was a year old.   I continued breast feeding until her third Christmas when she stopped naturally.

They are now seven and nine. I love them very much, and they present many challenges. I wouldn’t change anything, despite all the pain, stress and lack of sleep.  These two will continue to push their boundaries, and we will continue on our amazing journey as a family.

Also check out…

5 Things I’ve Learned After One Month of Being a First Time Mom by Jessica Petrilli

Buy it!

Buy a copy of The Big Book of Why For Parents here, and help support local bookstores! This is an affiliate link, and I will earn a commission on any sales.

Pin it!