Scars fortify
After reading my soon to be released novel, The Holding, advanced reader Alison DeLory commented, “While Cate’s journey holds surprises, what we ultimately see is how her scars fortify her.”
The concept that adversity has the ability to make us stronger isn’t new, but most people would agree, the tricky question is, why do some people overcome while others don’t? I can’t claim to have the answers, but I have learned some valuable life lessons along the way. One thing I know for sure, adversity can force us to dig deep and find our strength.
A strong foundation
I believe that in order to get through the tough stuff and achieve resilience, we need support. Sustenance can be achieved through a variety of means, including our beliefs, spiritual practice, family, friends, opportunities for education and financial security.
In The Holding, Cate finds her strength from two main sources: the unconditional love showered upon her by her father and the spiritual beliefs she was taught from a very young age. In chapter two, when young Cate is forced to endure repeated sexual trauma, Jesus and God appear in her imagination, “He takes her by the hand and they dance together in a garden.”
Tribulations and triumphs
Cate doesn’t feel totally safe from her abuser until her family moves to a new city, but life continues to test her. Bullying, manipulations from so-called friends, and her father’s diagnosis with rheumatoid arthritis are just some of the life tribulations she endures. Cate learns at a young age the hard truth: that life isn’t fair.
When Cate is raped the summer after grade ten, she sobs to her parents, “I’m never going to drink again, or go to a party. I’m not going to trust anyone. Except you guys, and Michael.” William folds his daughter in close to his chest and holds her to him, but while the scars eventually fade, they haunt her dreams and they never completely disappear.
Trauma transformed
Cate transforms from a rebellious teenager to a mature young woman in a matter of months after becoming pregnant in the final semester of her grade twelve year. She takes on the responsibility of being a single mom, but as she is preparing to move out on her own, she confides to her mother, “These first six months were such a blessing. I discovered how capable I am inside the safety net of your and dad’s support. I’ll be forever grateful.”
With her parent’s support, Cate puts herself through university. Her confidence grows as she achieves success at school, writes about her feelings in her journals, and gives up her worries to God in prayer.
The will to survive
Life doesn’t get any easier for Cate, and if anything, the challenges keep piling up around her. While she learns to listen to her intuition more often, sometimes the stress and pressures of life have her ignoring her “niggling feelings” or “heaviness in the pit of her stomach.”
She feels stuck in her marriage, unable to leave an abusive relationship, pulled in opposite directions by the uncertain, polar nature of his mental illness. After battling a serious post-delivery infection, she is diagnosed with Type I diabetes and writes in her journal, “It’s a lot to take on, but I know I’ve got this.”
Cate finds strength through the blessing of being loved. Her relationship with her family of origin, especially with her father, is the foundation, but she builds upon it as her own family expands and she has two more children. Cate rekindles her faith practice, reads self-help books with voracity, and throws herself into the demanding roles of being a mother to three children, an elementary school special needs teacher, and running a home.
When her husband, John’s, battle with depression has him breaking his word, not following through with his commitments, unable to even get out of bed or go to work, Cate feels overwhelmed, trapped by the ties that bind her to him, in a constant state of walking on eggshells.
At the same time, her father becomes seriously ill, due a complication with rheumatoid arthritis. “It would seem my life is just a series of new and different challenges. When one starts to resolve, another one manifests.”
Love and loss
Cate’s resilience is challenged to the very core when her brother, Michael, calls to tell her their father has been taken by ambulance to the hospital for the second time in seven years. Over the course of several gruelling hours, William ends up being admitted to the ICU, his body fighting an aggressive infection.
Over the next two weeks, it is an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs for Cate and her family. Cate’s blood sugars sky-rocket out of control, she is consumed by frequent nightmares, and she suffers from several panic attacks, feeling as though her life is spiraling out of control.
The emotional impact of The Holding climaxes in the last five chapters. Everything seems to dredge up old memories. Some of my favourite scenes are flashbacks that give tribute to the beautiful father-daughter bond that Cate and William share, that I consider to be the heart of her resilience.
In one, Cate is around nine years old, playing the piano, feeling frustrated, when she feels the warm presence of her father beside her. “Dad gently picks up both my hands and places them on top of his, finger to finger… he smiles his crooked grin and wipes the tears from my cheek.”
When William passes on, Cate is overwhelmed with her grief, at a loss, feeling numb, lost and unsure how to go on. She writes in her journal and prays that her father’s spirit will remain bonded to her heart for all eternity.
“I don’t know how to do this, how to carry on without him…this feels like too much. My father was my rock… He was a simple man. He didn’t change the world, but he changed mine… My father’s hands, they were my refuge.”
And as it turns out, it was enough. In the real-life story that my novel is based upon, I discovered that my father’s spirit did stay with me. To this day, I feel the strength of his love guiding me in my choices, lifting me up and encouraging me to never give up. He continues to be my inspiration, my rock, and an everlasting, eternal key to my resilience.
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Link to Amazon Pre-order Promotion for The Holding
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Abuse is such a sad, but important topic to address. This book sounds powerful.
Thank you for your feedback Chren. Good luck in the give-away!
Sounds wonderful