Gary Sherbell is the author of three published novels. Also a screenwriter and a playwright, his stage play version of Two Suspects was produced in 2016 at the prestigious Cherry Lane Theatre in NYC. A graduate of NYU Law School, he has been a NYC Administrative Law Judge for over 20 years. He lives in NYC’s West Village, but his heart remains buried across the East River in Brooklyn, where he was born and raised. Fittingly, his favorite sitcom is still The Honeymooners, and he continues to LOL at every episode, even though he’s seen each one over thirty times.
About Damn English
It’s all about English (the lingo, not the tribe) from the asinine to the zany, not for learning but for laughing.
Who is on your Mt. Rushmore of greatest/inspirational authors?
I dedicated my latest published work – a nonfiction humor book, Damn English!, to be published on June 5 by Black Rose Writing – to two writers/humorists: Samuel Clemens (“who inspired me with perhaps the funniest essay ever written on language: The Awful German Language”); and George Carlin (“who, more than any other modern-day comic, turned me on to the humor potential in language”).
On the current Mt. Rushmore, I would replace Presidents Washington and Roosevelt with these two gentlemen. However, in the spirit of political moderation, I would retain Presidents Jefferson and Lincoln for their stellar inspirational writing: Jefferson, for The Declaration of Independence, and Lincoln for The Gettysburg Address.
How do you name your characters?
In my fiction works, I’m careful to choose names which comport with the characters’ ethnicities – and I learned this the hard way. My first novel, They Were Fain, handwritten on looseleaf paper when I was 14, was about three brothers in the Old West. I gave them the name “Adler”, which I assumed was a fine, traditional WASPy name — just like Adams, and Jones – and yes, Smith.
Imagine my discomfort when, after I’d completed the novel, my mother informed me that “Adler” was a Jewish name. So, it turned out, I was all along writing about three Jewish cowboys in Wyoming, circa 1880. Oy vey!
What is the most unique way that an idea for a piece of writing has come to you?
In 2022 I completed a novel, The Diary of George and Shirley, which was all about a 68-year-old successful divorce lawyer, who ends his law practice in order to fulfill a lifelong dream: being a standup comic. To write the book, I needed enough original standup comedy for five standup routines, each about five pages long: a total of 25 pages of standup humor.
Where did I get it from? Why, from a shoebox, in which, for over fifty years – without knowing precisely why — I’d been collecting jokes, mostly about English, on little slips of paper.
When the book failed to find a publisher, I decided to “break it up for parts” – and one part, the 25 pages of comedy routines, became the beginnings of Damn English! Had I not been obligated to come up with those original 25 pages for the novel, I doubt I would have ever envisioned the doability of a full-length nonfiction humor book just about English – which had now decidedly become apparent to me.
Indeed, I’ve even said to others that I’m the only person on the planet who could have written Damn English! — not because of any special talent required, but because I’m probably the only earthling crazy enough to save, for 50 years – for no discernible reason — jokes on slips of paper in a shoebox.
Do you keep a notebook of ideas?
No, only shoeboxes.
What are your thoughts on typewriters?
Not at all pleased with the QWERTY layout, which began with typewriters and has unfortunately been carried over to computer keypads. I’m particularly annoyed by the placement of the oft-used letter “A” right next to the Caps Lock.
Since the “A” is controlled by my weakly controlling left pinky, I’m constantly, after typing an “A”, accidentally slipping into All Caps mode without realizing it until I happen to look up and see the vexing long line of unintended capital letters – all of which now haVE TO BE RETYPED INTO UPPER AND LOWER CASE. See what I mean?
Do you have any writing rituals?
Why yes. At the start of each writing session, I hum The Star-Spangled Banner. Serious answer: No.
Have you ever mentored another writer with their writing?
Funny you should ask because yes, I have.
In Damn English!, in the section I call “Pondering”, I humorously compare conflicting U.S. vs. U.K. usages, like “lift” vs. “elevator” and “flat” vs. “apartment”. One pairing I cite, a cause of some confusion, is “takeaway” food, the term preferred in the U.K., vs. “takeout” food, the U.S. preference.
As an example of the engendered confusion, I mention that in Danielle Steel’s The Right Time, she has her protagonist, when in London, get “takeaway” food from a restaurant, but when the protagonist is back in New York, Ms. Steel has her boyfriend show up with “takeout” food. In both cases, the description was in Ms. Steel’s own narration, not in the dialog/dialogue, without any explanation for the discrepancy.
I suppose that Ms. Steel was following the dictum, “When in Rome, write as the Romans do.” I emailed Ms. Steel for her comments, but I’m not holding my breath on her getting back to me. After all, what am I to her but some writer guy she never heard of – or should I say “writer bloke?”
Who is your dream audiobook narrator?
Whoever did the Voice of God in The Ten Commandments.
Who would you most want to read your book, living or dead?
He may be living but is probably dead: my sophomore year high school English teacher, who gave me only an 85 in English.
How do you measure the success of your writing career?
A male writer I know, in a candid moment, once confided in me that he measured his success by the beauty and youth of the women he dated. Me? I’m going with Amazon Sales Rankings.
What are your passions/obsessions outside of writing?
My ex-wife once accused me of having a foot fetish. I replied: “A foot fetish is only half as bad as a feet fetish.” Which distinction, oddly enough, stuck with me, and made it into Damn English!, in the section called “One and Done”, wherein I point out that many “singular” expressions are actually inaccurate. Like “handmade.”
I mean, isn’t it far more likely that the maker used both hands, in which case the expression should more properly be “handsmade?” Same with “foot fetish,” I point out; shouldn’t the expression be “feet fetish,” since the male practitioner of this perversion almost certainly does not confine his adoration to just one foot in particular?
So, it turns out, there was at least one way in which my ex-wife aided my writing career, albeit unintentionally.
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