The Do’s and Don’ts of Writing in the Second Person

Point of view is one of the first decisions that a writer makes when crafting a piece. Often, they turn to either first person (I/me/we) or third person (he/she/they) points of view when it comes to fiction writing. But lately, I’m beginning to see second person point of view sneaking into the world of fiction. While I always give points for experimentation and thinking outside the box, I can’t say that they typically pull it off. Below are my do’s and don’ts for writing in the second person.

Do: Use it to hook a reader

Beginnings are a tough and important section of a piece of writing. All writers have a bag of tricks that they utilize when starting a piece, and second person POV can be a helpful tool to get over this rough spot. This is especially true in memoirs, essays, and articles. Asking the reader to put themselves in your shoes or into a scenario that you’re trying to portray is an effective way to draw them in.

Ex. “Imagine that you’ve just won $100 million in the lottery.”

This gets the reader thinking about what you’re saying and how they would react to the situation that you have created for them. It’s a great connective bridge between the writer and reader. The tricky part, though, is organically detaching from that perspective into the version that will continue throughout the piece. Following up “Imagine that you’ve just won $100 million dollars in the lottery” with “Well, that’s what happened to me” is too quick of a transition. Ease into it with less of a whiplash-inducing sequence.

Ex. “Imagine that you’ve just won $100 million in the lottery. A river of spending ideas floods your mind: the houses you’re going to buy, the debts you’re going to pay off, the vacations you’re going to take. But it doesn’t all go the way you think. At least it didn’t for me.”

I personally tend to get too wordy. So, be sure not to make it too long of an opening. It’s also a good idea to refer back to that opening at the end of the piece and return to that “you” scenario to show how the story or information that you provided has changed the reader’s ideas, biases, or beliefs. But the meat of your writing needs to be written in a more standard point of view. Otherwise, it’s going to become really distracting really fast.

Don’t…use it in fiction

Whether it’s an attempt to make your piece unique or experimental, if you’re writing fiction, do not use second person point of view. I’ve read many story drafts lately where the writer wrote in the second person, and it just doesn’t work for fiction unless it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure Tale. And that only works because of its intentional gimmicky nature.

Second person makes the reader feel like a puppet being strung along as if possessed by the main character. My mind tends to wander, thinking I’d never do or say those things. There is nothing wrong with following on the shoulder or in the mind of a fictional character or omniscient narrator. So, don’t fix what isn’t broken.

The only exception I’d make is when the writing is strong enough that the narrator can address the reader directly. If the piece is written as a diary that’s meant to be found by someone after the fact or even a Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events scenario where the narrator acts as an oral storyteller whose audience is in front of him, it’s okay to break the fourth wall in order to make the reader feel included in the story. But it really has to work for the story, tone, and voice.

Do…use it in poetry

As a rule of thumb, when reading poetry it’s important not to think of the narrator as the writer but as the “speaker.” Because of that, it’s also important not to think of “you” as the reader but instead as another character related to the speaker. The speaker does this by relaying specific details, dialogue, or memories that don’t pertain to you as the reader. Instead, it’s like you’re stumbling across an old letter or eavesdropping on a conversation.

Because poems are more stylistic and rely heavily on language, every word that a poet selects has to count. Where it doesn’t work for me is in the melodramatic tone of a breakup situation or in a moment of irrational anger. I don’t really want to read about one side of a fight, but a one-sided ode to the “you” or longing for someone who is no longer there works fine.

Don’t…use it to control your readers

Writing can be especially appealing to writers because it gives them a feeling of control and release. We can invent and alter a completely fictional world, vent our feelings in a piece of non-fiction or poetry, or inform the public about a favorite or important topic in an essay or article.

But it’s not on us to control the readers. As I said before, readers don’t want to be the writer’s puppet. They want to be the audience who takes in the information, either critically, informationally, or for entertainment. But their mind is still their own.

Readers will catch on if they feel like they are being manipulated, judged, or persuaded. And the use of second person point of view will be the tip off to that unwanted controlled feeling.

Do… use it in articles

Second person can easily work in a magazine, blog, or newspaper article. Even the titles of these articles make use of this perspective to draw in a reader with a question or statement that addresses them directly.

Ex. “10 Haircuts to Make You Look Younger”

Ex. “What Dangerous Prescriptions are Sitting in Your Medicine Cabinet?”

Using “you” or “your” in the title then gives you permission to continue to use it throughout the piece, making it more conversational. Since articles are more informational, it’s okay to keep your reader dwelling on the questions and scenarios that the “you” brings up throughout the piece.

Don’t…use it in a cryptic sense

When you write in the second person, you need to have a clear idea of who you’re talking to. Know your audience and what will draw them into your piece. Make sure the finger is pointed at the right people. Use a writing style that fits that group (formal, conversational, humorous, etc.) as well as the message or information that you’re trying to convey.

If you’re using it in poetry, make sure that the reader has a good sense of who the “you” is (a parent, a spouse, a friend, etc.). Do this through showing rather than telling, but don’t be so cryptic or specific that the reader doesn’t get it, especially if it’s antagonistic. Then, it might come across as a rant against society rather than a specific person. And if it is a rant against society, make sure that’s clear and that the reader is picking up on the substitutions and the larger ideas at work.

Do…use it in an advertising sense

Look at any commercial, infomercial, magazine spread, or billboard, and you’ll see that you’re being addressed directly as a potential buyer most of the time. Advertising sticks when it bluntly singles you out. It can be equally effective as a marketing tool for writers.

Ex. “Check out my latest article at Magazine.com, and learn about how you can travel the world on a tight budget!”

Bloggers use it to promote their blog posts on social media.

Ex. “Need ideas for recipes to bring to your in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner?”

Store owners use it to draw in customers.

Ex. “Looking for 25 percent off your next pair of glasses?”

It works because being addressed directly captures our attention, and if we’re in the market for what they’re offering, it will hold our attention. This isn’t about trickery as much as it is about relatability and the give-and-take relationship between writer and reader.

Don’t…use it to try to be unique

Finally, you’re not going to create a movement by writing your novel or memoir in second person perspective. Use your individuality in the writing itself, not in your mechanics.

Gimmicks are distracting, and language is a make or break element of a piece of writing. It’s a fine line to walk, and if you’re going to take risks, do it with your content, not your technique. Keep we the readers out of your fiction or life story, and let us be the attentive audience, not an active participant.

When do you most like to use second person narration? When has it been most effective for you? Leave your answers in the comments below!

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