Whenever a writer experiences something interesting, their first thought is to write it down. The challenge for memoir writers is to go through their catalog of life experiences and pick out the moments worth writing about. Author Heidi Patullo analyzed her family life and relationships and came up with the premise for her memoir, ImPerfukt…and never happier! Below is my interview with Patullo about her writing, her life, and the events that led to her writing this personal book about her life.
About the Author
Author Name: Heidi Patullo
Author Links
Book Title: ImPerfukt…and never happier!
Genres: Non-Fiction; Memoir; Relationships, Marriage, Parenting/Motherhood, Divorce, Codependency
Links to buy:
Amazon (USA)
Amazon (Canada)
Book Summary
She wanted a normal, average life, but given that hers began rather exceptionally, she felt obligated to keep up the “Miss Perfect” image. And it lasted until she shook up her young family’s life when she stated she wanted a divorce. But on her road to greener pastures–which she found at 50!–she went through muck and mire, more men and …and, well, let’s just say that the growing up was still on the table. Luckily, she wrote about the journey after therapy: she knows how to laugh at herself humanity.
Book excerpt
From Act One…
ACT ONE
1962-1972:
The Decade in which LOVE is
relative…and related to the senses
1962: Very Earliest Memories, of which I have very few!
I’ve chosen to believe my parents were madly and rapturously in love when they conceived me. And why shouldn’t I? Just because others’ conceptions might have occurred under some less than ideal conditions, that’s never been reason enough for me to imagine mine was anything but!
Not to mention my November 13th birthdate…and then nine months of back-counting!
Well! I’ve always believed I had to have been conceived on Valentine’s Day–make that Valentine’s Day night. It would have been late at night, too. After their dinner out.
Yes. That’s what I’ve decided. They’d have dined out, come home, and then paid and bade good-night to the sitter. (They were already parents to my big sister–the other family member eagerly awaiting the successful conception of me!)
Naturally after sweet, soft, silent pecks on Big Sister’s forehead my horny, slightly inebriated parents would’ve bee-lined for their bedroom, tearing off and dropping willy-nilly all of their clothing before “barely” making it to the bedroom where they’d have dramatically flung themselves upon their plush bed for what I’ve decided was a night of passionate, purposeful shagging. Oh, yes–at least one hour of love-making.
At least, one passionate, purposeful hour of Heidi-making!
So goes the tale I’ve told myself. A deliberately passionate and happy, and perhaps, delusional, tale.
They’d set me straight if asked.
I haven’t.
Not yet anyway.
But what’d be the point?
I like my conception of my conception.
Review excerpts
…from Canadian readers, on Amazon.ca:
*****-star rating: “A delightful memoir of a seemingly typical upper-middle-class woman who, nearing 50, finds the courage to break out of the mold she feels born into, despite the harsh repercussions that will follow. Heidi Patullo has a frank and casual way with words, which read as if she is chatting while sipping coffee across the table from you. A bonus is her witty poetry, on everything from child-rearing to life lessons, sprinkled throughout.”
*****-star rating: “This book was an absolute joy to read. Heidi’s courage and candor to ‘tell it like it is’ made for a refreshing and satisfying read. Heidi’s gift to me, was to illuminate some dark moments in my own life and to find comfort that I wasn’t alone. I loved the poetry about the day-to-day with kids; such a ring of truth. Heidi is a quirky and talented writer indeed.”
*****-star rating: “I am so enjoying your book. I’m in Act Three: 1982-1992. I ask myself “What is it that makes me want to keep on reading?” One might think it is because I know the author. But no. Your book has a ‘stickiness factor’ … I can’t stop reading it. Your turn of a phrase, your candour, sometimes your cryptic-ness, has me all-in. And of course, what woman of a certain age who has traveled through life inwardly railing against what is expected of her (by herself or others…) wouldn’t relate to your journey… !”
Talking Shop
What do you want readers to take away from your books?
That with time, dedication and perseverance they can do it, too–if they want to write a memoir (of course)
Name a fact or detail about your story that readers will never know is there.
When I bought my book publishing contract, I hadn’t written a single word. Not one. The original plan was to write a memoir solely about my experiences as a middle school (art) teacher. It will still likely get written.
What’s the best review/compliment that you’ve received about your book?
Any I get from people who don’t know me from Eve 🙂
What is a fun or strange source of inspiration that ended up in your book?
Uh, well, after being the Monologuist for “The Vagina Workshop” in The Vagina Monologues, by Eve Ensler, a part of me had more to say… if you catch my drift?!?
How long did it take to write your book from the day you got the idea to write it to the day you published it?
3.5 years. Late Dec 2012, until July 2016. I bought the contract in July 2012, but changed my mind about what to write, over a 5 and a half month period.
How long have you considered yourself a writer?
Long enough, I think. Since I became a mother (31 yrs) until present (58).
Did you have any formal training, or is it something you learned as you went?
I studied languages–always writing in those courses. Also, as a young parent, I took the children’s writing course, back in the day of mail-in lessons. I loved it! Tough, informative and inspiring.
If you don’t make a living exclusively writing, what is your day job?
Something creative, depending on the day: acting, teaching, reviewing/providing feedback to writers.
How, in any way, does it relate to your life as a writer?
In every way. I can’t help but read others’ words and be affected by them. They become part of my learning curve–for the better. I see what I want to emulate/approximate. And, what I hope to avoid
Who is on your Mt. Rushmore of all time great writers?
Tony Morrison. William Faulkener, Alice Munro, John Steinbeck, Timothy Findley…so many. Poets too: Langston Hughes
What were your expectations for writing and publishing your first book?
Do it. Make it happen. Get it done.
Have they changed since then?
Yes.
Do you have a writing ritual, odd habits, or superstitions?
I am a walking writer. So much comes to me as I move my body outdoors, in natural settings mostly. I am odd, and I have habits, and sometimes they cross. I am not superstitious, but I like certain numbers. Like 13.
How well do you handle criticism, either while writing, editing, or reviews?
I handle criticism as best I can. It is important to believe that the person giving it has your best interests at heart. I have received a 1 star, without a comment, from a known person: I’d say she is angry at me–still. She never spoke poorly of my writing in the past. It feels personal. My writing wouldn’t change for that.
Do you ever use that criticism to change your story?
If I was writing a novel or poetry, yes, I use constructive criticism. I think it is a great opportunity for the upgrades 😉
What is the most fun part about writing?
Being moved by my own words.
The most difficult?
The hours and hours it can take with word limits for synopses and pitches or queries. That is harder for me that straight writing, re-writing.
Did you consult with any professionals or people who lived through a particular event to help you craft your story?
I saw the professionals before I wrote, haha! (My book is a memoir, right!?)
What is your most stereotypical writer trait?
Coffees in the am. Decaf lattes later in the day. Could be tea- or coffee-based. Lots of loose papers in lots of books (some of which I’ve misplaced)
“What If” Scenarios
If your book ever becomes a movie and you get final say over the cast, which actors would you hire to play your characters?
Me, lol. I am an actor, right. That said, I’d find another. Hm: jodie Foster. Meg Ryan. Mary Stuart Masterson. Jen Aniston–probably Jen.
If you could have one person that you admire, living or dead, read your book, who would it be?
My 92 year old dad? Maybe.
A wealthy reader buys 100 copies of your book and tells you to hand them out to anyone you wish. Who do you give them to?
Well, I did this myself with 30 copies. Self-published authors are different that way. Family, Best friends, important connections. It was fun. Then, I bought 50 to sell. Still have a couple left, but I only sold them at a $5 profit…
You’re offered a contract to rewrite your book in another genre. Which genre do you choose and why?
Thriller/Suspense or Murder Mystery. It could be quite fun to go the twisted, vengenace dark route–woman retaliating… I sound evil. Sorry.
You’re given $10,000 to spend on marketing for your book. How do you spend it?
Wisely, I hope.
You have the means to hire a full time assistant to help you with your writing. What tasks do you give them to do?
Cooking, cleaning, dog-walking…so that I can write. Is that fair?
You have final say over who reads the audio book version of your story. Who do you choose?
Myself. I have recorded it already. I am a trained voice-actor as well as theatre/film actor. It is not compiled yet, but it the files are complete!
What famous artist or photographer would you want to create or capture your book cover image?
Once again, my partner did the cover image, but together we did much. We are both fine artists as well. That is my own cover art.
Your story gets picked up by a streaming service to make into a series. What service would you want it to be, and would you want them to follow your story closely, or would you rather see what directions they take it in?
Netflix. And I would welcome their take, their direction…
Just For Fun
Your trademark feature.
Unpredictability of style…
Ask people who know me, and let me know… That said, there is usually a period of an interesting pendant, stone, or beach find (on a leather strand) which I will wear, only to follow it up with “gold, glitz and gemstones” for a phase, …which would then be followed by another phases, likely a random grouping of interesting necklaces, layered. (I was layering odd pieces someone made it trendy. It is trendy, right?)
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
It’s more than okay to be happy, silly and be told “you’re weird” by others, especially if you are working as a teacher and they are your students.
One year of your life you’d like to relive or do over.
Nope. Wouldn’t be certain to be where I am. Now, there’s a spring summer season that wasn’t any fun…
One bucket list item you’ve completed and one that’s still on your list.
I don’t have a bucket. So… Do I need to have one?? But i once walked across a frozen lake, certain I would be the weight to crack it and fall through and drown: I survived, clearly;)
A movie or a piece of music that changed your life.
Antonia’s Line–Dutch film, Winner of Foreign Film Oscar; “family”, community, karma… I cried so much. Happy tears:)
Music? Loved Ennio Morricone’s music for The Mission (second, Les Mis soundtrack). I guess I love to be moved…to tears. I feel Alive!
Favorite time of/part of your day.
Any time I can hear nature over noise — inner or outer. Or any moments of stillness–mine, especially.
Favorite place you’ve visited/place you want to visit.
LOVE Scotland. LOVE Barbados. would LOVE to visit New Zealand…by boat.
Food you’d like to win a lifetime supply of.
Arugula (as you didn’t suggest it was for survival…though, a great 4 year old cheddar or some pignoli would be nice too.
Your favorite podcast.
onBeing
The topic you can’t shut up about and the topic you wish everyone would shut up about.
So as not to be in trouble, I will say: the weather.
Celebrity you’d want to be friends with.
A dignified old British Dame. Dame Maggie Smith? Dame Judi Dench. Dame Helen Mirren.
Your most unrealistic dream job.
Getting paid to think. And share my thoughts, my “heideas.”
Favorite Halloween costume ever.
Gypsy. First memory of dressing up. (That is probably an inappropriate term. Sorry.)
A talent you have and a talent you wish you had.
Cooking with “what’s in the fridge and the pantry”–could mix and match for quite a while.
A wished for talent: playing the violin. Beautifully.
When time travel is achieved, do you go forward or backward?
Back. There is only NOW, the Present, so FUTURE seems undoable. Unless, in my dreams. Which is also “now”, right? So “Back” happened.
Buy it!
Buy a copy of Imperfukt here, and help support local bookstores! This is an affiliate link, and I will earn a commission on any sales.
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