The title of writer is so generic that it can mean so many things. For Trish Ahjel Roberts, being a writer means using her personal story to help others. Below is my interview with Roberts about her book, Thinking Outside the Chrysalis: A Black Woman’s Guide to Spreading Her Wings. Check it out, and be sure to follow her on her blog and social media!
About the author
Author Name: Trish Ahjel Roberts
Author Links:
About the book
Book Title: Thinking Outside the Chrysalis: A Black Woman’s Guide to Spreading Her Wings
Genre: self-help memoir
Book summary
As the world manages the devastation and unrest created by COVID-19 and ongoing police brutality, Trish Ahjel Roberts carefully weaves her own story of trauma and redemption into a revolutionary path of joy and fulfillment that any woman can embrace. She skillfully draws on the butterfly’s story of transformation and blends it with her own, sharing each chapter as a drop of life-affirming nectar. When combined, her 12-drop approach is a revelation for personal and spiritual development. This book uses real-life experiences, along with Buddhist and yogic philosophies to shine light on the freedom awaiting outside the chrysalis.
Book excerpts
When I was a kid my father used to say, “You have to know who you are.” It sounded wise, but I didn’t know what he was talking about – I had no idea who I was. I knew the biggest limbs of my family tree and the sequence of my resume. I knew what I did for fun and the religion I was taught. I knew the gender, race and nationality that was ascribed to me. Was I the manifestation of that data?
The New Oxford dictionary defines self-awareness as “conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives and desires.” I have encountered many articles and memes about self-love and self-care, but I can’t recall any about self-awareness. It seems impossible to love yourself or others authentically if you don’t know yourself well. Trying to cultivate self-love without self-awareness is like slicing bread before it’s baked.
I know we can experience some level of self-love without knowing ourselves well. Perhaps a more perfunctory form, the same way abused children still love their parents. We might love ourselves because we feel we have no choice. Self-development helps us to authentically love ourselves because we grow our desired qualities while reprogramming false messages.
– Fourth Drop: Get REAL with Someone, pgs. 47-48
Book review excerpt 1
From Amazon:
Although I am not a big fan of self-help books, I find this book very inspirational. Trish opened my eyes to realize that through the “12-drop approach,” there is always room for growth and reassessment no matter where you are in life. I highly recommend this book for those who are struggling with pain, in need of healing, or in the process of restoring and enhancing their lives. – Tina L.
Book review excerpt 2
This is way more than a book—it’s a complete package of reflection, healing, and self-care and the author stays with you whole way.
In addition to each accessible, vulnerable, and helpful chapter, Roberts provides affirmations, journaling reflections, meditations, concrete action checklists, playlists, and resources to accompany each part of the journey toward greater fulfillment and happiness.
I was impressed with the content and the value of this book. It goes beyond other self-help books with a package of related support. It’s also more than a memoir because she mines her experiences to help others in concrete ways. It’s truly a self-help memoir, and although she calls it her “unapologetic love letter to black women,” it’s truly for anyone (I’m a white woman reader). – Maria F.
Book review excerpt 3
Trish lays her soul bare to provide drops of wisdom which encourage personal growth. She recounts serious life events and laces them with a touch of humor which makes the reading of heavy topics fun. She invites the reader to ride along on her journey, and challenges them to move past life’s hurts and disappointments to nurture practices toward becoming a fully authentic, joyful and actualized human being. The little sayings between the texts were a joy to read! – VashT
Talking Shop
What do you want readers to take away from your books?
I want my readers to feel encouraged and inspired when they read anything I write or produce, whether it’s my new self-help memoir, Thinking Outside the Chrysalis: A Black Woman’s Guide to Spreading Her Wings, my weekly Wellness & Transformation blog, Thoughts on Everything, my companion vlog of the same name, or my YouTube series, The Butterfly Effect: Conversations for Black Women to Soar. Even my very first novel, Chocolate Souffle, written in 1995 when I was still in my twenties had an undercurrent of personal growth, feminism, freedom and love.
What’s the best review/compliment that you’ve received about your book?
I’ve gotten a lot of really wonderful reviews so far. I’m so grateful. When you write a book you release a little part of your soul into the world. When you write a memoir, it’s a much bigger piece of yourself.
I just read a review today that really made me smile. The reader called my book “more than a book” and “complete” and said “I stayed with the reader the whole way.” That review felt really special.
I think as writers we often wonder if our book is complete and worry if we left anything out. With a market so full of books with all kinds of topics, being called “more than a book” felt special. And the comment that I “stayed with the reader” was really meaningful to me.
I wanted to write a self-help book to share what I’ve learned over years of lived experiences, my spiritual journey and yogic and Buddhist study. I added my personal stories to make my advice more meaningful and authentic, and to share my vulnerability. So, when my reader said I “stayed with her,” I felt like she was able to feel my presence. That’s what I hoped for, and I’m so grateful I’ve been able to achieve that.
What famous books can you compare to your own?
When I dreamed up my book, I wanted to model it after “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran. I read that book in high school, and it had a huge impact on me. I wanted my book to be small and cover profound wisdom in the same way Gibran’s book did. Of course, “The Prophet” is a poem while my book morphed into a memoir. I hope that my book will inspire young people the way Gibran inspired me.
How long have you considered yourself a writer? Did you have any formal training, or is it something you learned as you went?
I’ve been a writer for as long as I can remember. I wrote my first poems and started my first novel in elementary school. I have always been an avid reader. So I think I learned to write from reading. I always loved grammar and sentence construction, poetry and the power of words. I remember being fascinated with “sentence trees” in elementary school.
As I got older, I read books and thought, “I can write better than that.” I wrote Chocolate Souffle with no training at all. I’m glad that I did, because I didn’t know the “rules,” and I love the way I told that story.
I took my first writing workshops in 2020 after launching my business. The first was a day-course and the second was an amazing writer’s retreat in Costa Rica.
My Bachelor’s degree is in marketing and my MBA is in Management, but I’m a lifelong learner. I’m a certified life coach, yoga & meditation instructor and reiki practioner. When I was younger, I never thought I’d be able to pursue my passions for a living. When I tell the story of breaking through to the life of your dreams, I’m living the story as well.
If you don’t make a living exclusively writing, what is your day job? How, in any way, does it relate to your life as a writer?
I quit my day job as a financial advisor in 2019 to launch my business, HoneyButterflyz Wellness and Transformation. I offer books, self-actualization coaching, yoga services and plant-based retreats to inspire Black women to soar. Now I have the luxury of working for myself and prioritizing my writing, while working toward my ultimate goal of saving the world.
It’s corny, but true. This world needs a lot of help. I hope that by lifting my voice and encouraging some of the most marginalized among us, I can inspire all people to live with more kindness toward each other and more gentleness on the planet.
I often say, “I want to see a self-actualized world, beginning with Black women.” It’s not because I want Black women to be happy while other people are not. It’s just that in the global caste system, Black women are the bottom rung or close to it. I believe if we lift from the bottom, everyone rises the way a swell in the ocean lifts all ships.
Who is on your Mt. Rushmore of all time great writers?
When I think of great writers definitely Zora Neale Hurston’s, Their Eyes Were Watching God, is profound. I already mentioned Kahlil Gibran’s, “The Prophet.”
I would have to include Toni Morrison, James Baldwin, Maya Angelou and Octavia Butler.
It’s so sad to me that so many of the amazing writers I grew up with are no longer living. I hope to fill a void and become someone else’s “all time great writer” one day.
“What If” Scenarios
If you could have one person that you admire, living or dead, read your book, who would it be?
My dream is probably no different than a lot of writers. I hope one day my book lands in Oprah’s hands. I joke with my friends that I fantasize that Oprah won’t stop calling me to analyze Thinking Outside the Chrysalis. I’ll be like, “Oprah, it’s 3:00am, I don’t have time to talk about self-awareness and detachment anymore. I’ll call you tomorrow!”
If you could be in a writer’s group with up to four famous writers, who would they be?
My dream team writer’s group would be Yaa Gyasi, Terri McMillan, Tia Williams, and Tayari Jones. I had so much fun dreaming this group up! I’m going to sit in a corner now imagining all the giggling we’d do together as we critiqued each other’s work. I love this question!
You’re offered a contract to rewrite your book in another genre. Which genre do you choose and why?
My book is a self-help memoir, and it’s really interesting to think of it as a fiction piece, even a psychedelic fantasy. A lot of people won’t read self-help, so it’s interesting to put life lessons into fiction. I imagine something mind-bending like The Matrix or Inception. I would love to work on a project like that.
Your book becomes a bestseller. What do you do next?
I expect my book to become a bestseller this year. I want to teach the 12-drop approach globally and to under served populations. Book sales will provide the resources to make these teachings available to every person who wants to receive them.
I was supposed to visit Ghana in March for a yoga training program. Of course, it was cancelled because of COVID-19. Now, I’m looking forward to sharing my book in Ghana virtually later this year.
I had a retreat scheduled for Jamaica in April which also got cancelled. I hope to travel to Jamaica early next year; I can’t wait to share the lessons from Thinking Outside the Chrysalis with audiences all around the world.
Would you rather own your own book store or your own publishing house, and what would you sell or publish?
I would definitely want my own publishing house. I stopped writing for twenty years after writing Chocolate Souffle in 1995. I didn’t feel like there was a place for my story of Caribbean-American immigrants living in Brooklyn, NY.
I’m still shocked that to this day I have never heard of a book with a lead character that has sickle-cell anemia. If I ever had the opportunity to publish other authors, I would look for uplifting stories from diverse perspectives.
Just For Fun
Your trademark feature.
When I quit my corporate job, I had to figure out what I wanted my new work wardrobe to look like. I gave away all my business suits. (I was tempted to burn them!) I’ve figured out it’s either harem or yoga pants, hoop or ankh earrings, my mother’s vintage rings, mala beads and a bra only if absolutely necessary.
I started locking my hair almost a year ago. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but I felt restricted by my career. I absolutely love, love, love my hair! I don’t think too much about my shoes. I like them cute, comfortable and vegan.
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
I did a guided visualization during a yoga workshop back in 2016 where I spoke to my future self and she showed me a bookshelf with twenty books that I’d written. I know that, at minimum, I have to write those books. I see my legacy as much more than that. I imagine centers around the world teaching the 12-drop approach. I imagine changing the way people look at their lives. I imagine writing a variety of editions of Thinking Outside the Chrysalis, that speak more personally to groups that I don’t belong to: teenagers, men, white women, teachers, fathers, etc.
One bucket list item you’ve completed and one that’s still on your list.
I’ve done lots of items on my bucket list. I’ve been hang gliding, parasailing and skydiving. I traveled to Paris and Venice for my 50th birthday. The most recent was ziplining in Costa Rica. I still haven’t stepped foot on African or Jamaican soil, and that’s part of my heritage. I hope to do both in 2021. I definitely want to be interviewed by Trevor Noah and by Oprah. I guess I’ve still got a lot of items on my list. I’ve got work to do!
Favorite place you’ve visited/place you want to visit.
St. Martin/St. Maarten is one of my favorite places to visit. It’s an island in the West Indies that’s half-French and half-Dutch. Really charming. I had the opportunity to travel to Japan and Hong Kong when I was in college. That was amazing. I’d love to go back one day. Paris and Venice were really breathtaking too.
I want to visit Ghana, South Africa, Egypt, Greece, Belize, Jamaica, Mexico, Peru, Puerto Rico and Cuba. It’s such a privilege to have an opportunity to see the world. I hope I have the good fortune to travel, write and teach freely.
The topic you can’t shut up about and the topic you wish everyone would shut up about.
I talk a lot about a crisis of authenticity in the U.S., and even globally. I watched a movie recently that I really enjoyed called, Seriously Single. It’s produced in South Africa and all the Black female characters wore wigs.
Celebrities often use plastic surgery and Pblhotoshop to make them look their “best.” I see beautiful, young women under a blanket of makeup, hair extensions and false eyelashes. Our culture makes women feel they aren’t good enough, and I believe the pain goes well beyond the surface. I want women to feel beautiful naked, without a stitch of makeup. I can’t shut up about it.
I would like for people to shut up with the complaining. I don’t mean speaking out when something’s wrong. I love protest speech and activism. I’m talking about the crabs-in-a-barrel people. The people who tear down other people because they don’t like their outfit, or they’re not perfect. These people are what we call “haters” and they stand in the way of progress. I don’t know if they’re motivated by jealousy or misery, but if you don’t have anything helpful to say, shut up please.
Buy it!
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Great interview!
Great interview! We hope Oprah reads her book.