Below is an interview with author Maria Giura, who has written a very unique and intriguing memoir titled, Celibate. Find out more about her love of Audrey Hepburn, her relationship with her faith, and the power and confidence that she obtains through her writing. Be sure to check out her book, and follow her on social media!
About the Author
Author Name: Maria Giura
Author Links:
Book Title: Celibate: A Memoir
Genre: Memoir
Links to Buy
Book Summary
When twenty-eight-year-old Maria Giura fell in love with Catholic priest Father James Infanzi, she had no idea how needy they both were nor how complicated their relationship would become. His attention seemed to fill the void left by her fractured family, but he also seemed to be a sign for her to finally face the vocation she’d been running from for years. Celibate focuses on her ten-year struggle to let go of this priest, to heal from her childhood, and to embrace her true calling. Fiercely honest and tender, this memoir is ultimately a story about surrender, forgiveness, and facing one’s deepest needs.
Book Excerpt
I first noticed Father Infanzi in the way that matters during his second year at Saint Stephen’s. It’s not that I hadn’t noticed him before. It was impossible not to. He was thirty—four years older than me— tall and lean with black hair parted to the side, and he said things like God loved us into existence. But it wasn’t until my sister Janine introduced him to my family after Easter Sunday Mass that he really got my attention. It was a cool, sunny day with the fragrance of daffodils in the air as we waited on a long line to greet Father outside the front doors. When it was our turn, we all smiled and said hello, and my step-dad Tom complimented his homily.
Father said, “Thank you,” and then, shaking our hands, blushing, said to my sisters and me, “Wow, four girls. You all have the same blue eyes,” but when he got to me he held my eyes a beat longer than he did theirs, and I felt a sharp pulse of attraction.
After we walked away, my sister Julie said, without a hint of irony, “He’d be perfect for Maria.”
Nellie, the youngest, rolled her eyes, and my mother shot back, “Julie!” but with a smirk.
I nearly gasped. He was perfect—smart and handsome and personable but also a touch shy to make him sweet. He made me feel more special in that moment than the men I dated, sometimes slept with, so I wouldn’t have to be alone. After that, whenever he said Mass I thought good but walked out the side door and didn’t greet him. He was a priest. Besides, the last thing I wanted to be reminded of was celibacy. I’d been running from it ever since I was eight…
Review Excerpts
“In Celibate: A Memoir, Maria Giura not only captures a personal history through a personal story, but she plumbs the depths of the question, to whom do we really belong? I found the passages about her father to be particularly poignant. That she loved him and that he loved her is made clear and is never doubted. The rupture in the family upon his departure and his unwillingness to help in the care of his daughters (which seems cultural) understandably caused a deep yearning in her that was somewhat assuaged in her tumultuous relationship with Catholic priest, ‘Father Infanzi.’ I cannot put too fine a point on just how stunning, expertly crafted, and life-giving this memoir is.” – Michelle Reale, Editor of Ovunque Siamo and Author of several poetry collections including In The Blink of a Mottled Eye, Season of Subtraction, and All These Things Were Real
“The meat of this work—Giura’s struggle with her relationship with God—is complex and emotionally wrought.” –Publisher’s Weekly
Talking Shop
What do you want readers to take away from your book?
I want readers to get what they most need from the book. With that said, I also hope it conveys three things.
1. That it’s possible to live a fulfilled life as an uncoupled person. None of us is meant to be alone, but you don’t necessarily have to have a significant other to find joy and meaning, connection and community. Because I struggled so much to believe this myself, I hope I’m a reliable narrator for the reader.
2. I’m also hoping it conveys that there’s value in guarding our hearts; I don’t mean that there’s value in being guarded but rather that it’s beneficial to let romantic relationships unfold slowly: figuring out first if the other person is someone you can trust, someone that your heart feels at home with, someone who you feel at peace with. If Celibate could help someone avoid heartache, or even recognize their heartache, that would have made it worthwhile.
3. And finally, I’m hoping that it shows that it’s possible for us to get to the other side of our spiritual struggles. We’re never alone even though that’s exactly what it might feel like at times.
What’s the best review/compliment that you’ve received about your book?
One of the best reviews I’ve received thus far for Celibate has been from Emily Webber of the Mom Egg Review. She “got” the book.
Here’s an excerpt: “I was worried that Celibate would romanticize religion or be a salacious tell-all. Instead, it opened my heart and touched on many different aspects of the human spirit…with themes that readers, regardless of religious background, will relate to and find compelling. The most powerful writing on faith that I’ve encountered, Giura’s story shows that dark nights… are made easier by living radically true to one’s self and one’s desires.”
She also says, “This memoir is one that honors those who pave the way for us and the importance of human relationships beyond that of a partner or spouse.” Thank you Emily Webber and Mom Egg Review!
What famous books can you compare to your own?
I can’t resist identifying my memoir a little with St. Augustine’s Confessions at least as a contemporary, female, non-saint version of him and his story. This is especially true with regards to his theme/quote/prayer, “Make me chaste, Lord, just not yet”!
I also think there are strong similarities between my memoir and Lauren Winner’s Girl Meets God especially in the sense that she and I were single, Christian women who struggled to believe that God would take care of us, that God was taking care of us even when we thought He wasn’t.
What is a fun or strange source of inspiration that ended up in your book?
The actress Audrey Hepburn for sure. She “appears” twice in my book. I became a huge fan of hers in my late twenties, which is how old I was when I started falling in love with the parish priest, Father James Infanzi.
Here is a quote from my memoir: “Facing me from behind Father Infanzi was a poster of Audrey Hepburn from the scene in Breakfast at Tiffany’s in which her character, a call girl named Holly Golightly who’s still dressed in the black gown from the night before, is looking into the window of Tiffany’s to soothe her fears. She’s beautiful and polished and goes to a lot of great parties, but as the movie unfolds we learn she’s running from the truth.”
Her character is a kind of mirror to myself as I too was running from the truth.
How long did it take to write your book from the day you got the idea to write it to the day you published it?
A very long time. 16 years. The Epilogue explores why it took me so long and how writing helped me find my answers and untangle myself from the very complicated knot I was in for so many years.
Do you have a writing ritual, odd habits, or superstitions?
When I was writing Celibate, I started my writing days first with prayer, then by reading a few pages of either Julia Cameron’s The Right to Write, Gail Sher’s One Continuous Mistake:Four Noble Truths for Writers, or Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones, and then I would do twenty minutes of free writing on anything that crossed my mind, like a musician playing scales as a way to warm up.
Cameron, Sher, and Goldberg were my “invisible” mentors cheering me on and giving me courage on as I started a new writing day. In particular, Julia Cameron’s books and philosophy on the writing life were instrumental in helping me complete my memoir.
How well do you handle criticism, either while writing, editing, or reviews? Do you ever use that criticism to change your story?
Funny you should ask, Laura. I used a few reviews and feedback that I received about Celibate in the seven months since its publication to revise the ending/the epilogue (my publisher Apprentice House Press allowed me to do so and the revised version is now available to all who purchase the book) Those criticisms/reviews were ones that I don’t think I could have anticipated until after the book was published and more people had a chance to read it. I was grateful for that feedback, because I now feel so much more confident about the ending of the book; I think it is more satisfying and “complete.”
If criticism is constructive, I handle it well even if initially it’s hard to swallow since it might mean going back to the drawing board. To be honest, though, when someone who hasn’t read the whole book or who has quite a narrow view of things criticizes my work, I won’t lie; it’s hard to take.
What is the most fun part about writing? The most difficult?
I love when I am surprised by what comes out of my pen or my laptop, when I start writing with some idea of what I am going to write and then the Spirit shows me something else or something more. It’s so liberating when writing writes through me, when I’m reminded I’m not (doing it) alone.
The most difficult part of writing for me is the waiting. You can’t always will the words; sometimes you have to wait for them, though you do have to show up and be present.
What skills have you acquired or information have you learned from writing?
I didn’t have to do heavy research for Celibate, but I did have to read and review facts in order to situate my personal story well into the larger world and time period. So for example, I had to read and brush up on details for the short passages I wrote about Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, or about the day that John Kennedy Jr.’s plane went down and he, his wife and sister-in-law passed away, or about 9/11.
I also had to get the details right about the places I visited: for example, the Caribbean, Seville, Spain, and certainly the two regions of southern Italy in which my parents were born—Sicily and Basilicata—especially since one of the themes of the book is being the daughter of immigrants. All of these passages were some of my absolute favorite parts of the memoir to write.
“What If” Scenarios
If you could have one person that you admire, living or dead, read your book, who would it be?
Pope Francis and Oprah Winfrey in that order. I’m sorry; that’s two!
A wealthy reader buys 100 copies of your book and tells you to hand them out to anyone you wish. Who do you give them to?
I’d give most of them to undergraduate and graduate students studying memoir, philosophy/religion, and/or Italian American studies.
Your favorite character that you’ve written comes to life for one day. What do you do together for 24 hours?
As I mentioned earlier, I make reference to Audrey Hepburn in my memoir. She’s the one I’d like to come to life for a day. We’d go food shopping, cook a meal together, and then eat al fresco while we talk about our lives, especially hers, and whatever life lesson she’d want to share.
Would you rather own your own book store or your own publishing house, and what would you sell or publish?
My own book store! I would sell mainly memoirs and (auto)biographies.
You have the means to hire a full time assistant to help you with your writing. What tasks do you give them to do?
I’d have him or her do most of my promotional work, researching the best outlets for publicity and booking readings for me (since promoting a book especially one published by an independent press is challenging)!
You have final say over who reads the audio book version of your story. Who do you choose?
Marisa Tomei
What famous artist or photographer would you want to create or capture your book cover image?
Jill Banks
Your story gets picked up by a streaming service to make into a series. What service would you want it to be, and would you want them to follow your story closely, or would you rather see what directions they take it in?
Netflix. I would want them to follow my story closely.
Just For Fun
Your trademark feature?
Tunic tops and high heeled wedges.
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
To have been a kind and successful memoirist and Catholic.
To have been a good daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and professional.
One year of your life you’d like to relive or do over.
My senior year in high school; I would have made some different decisions about my higher education.
A movie or a piece of music that changed your life.
Life is Beautiful. There is a scene when the father played by Roberto Benigni pretends that the concentration camp is a game to try and protect his young son from the horror. It’s heart breaking. I was so happy the night he won the Academy Award for best actor. The song “Jesu, Joy of All Desiring” gave me the music and words for the deepest desire of my truest self.
Favorite time of/part of your day.
Evening/night. Just like the savasana pose allows you to receive the benefits at the end of a yoga practice, I feel the evening/night time is the reward for a well lived, well “worked” day. I love when I can easily surrender the day and let go to sleep.
Favorite place you’ve visited/place you want to visit.
The Grand Canyon, Sedona, and driving Route 89A between Flagstaff and Sedona. I also fell in love with Taormina in Sicily.
Celebrity you’d want to be friends with.
David Muir
A talent you have and a talent you wish you had.
I wish I had the voice of a professional singer.
When time travel is achieved, do you go forward or backward?
Back, I think.
Buy it!
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The title of this book intrigues me; one word and it says so much!
I loved getting to know a little bit behind the author; practical writing advice as well as the inspiration behind this book make me want to read it even more.
Thanks so much for sharing!
Thanks for reading. I hope you check it out!
Great interview! You seems to be a natural with picking out questions, and it’s nice that you added a just for fun section.
This is a great interview! I interviewed Maria on my blog too. She is such an interesting person with a unique memoir. Your question brought out her personality!
Thanks for reading and commenting!