I believe that one of the toughest parts of writing is injecting your personality into the text. It’s easy to get caught up in the mechanics and formality of the craft. As you can see below, author Hans Joseph Fellmann has mastered this writing hurdle with his raw, confident writing style. Below is my interview with Fellmann about his life, his writing, and his latest book, The Heart That Beats.
About the author
Name: Hans Joseph Fellmann
Author Links
About the book
Book Title: The Heart That Beats
Genres: Dirty realism, confessional poetry, Semi-autobiographical memoir
Book summary
The Heart That Beats is a collection of semi-autobiographical poems based on Fellmann’s life as a novice writer living in the Czech Republic and California from 2010 to 2016. All poems appear in chronological order, starting with those describing his move to Prague from California to begin his life as a writer and ending with those describing a series of events, which sent him on a path to self-destruction.
The collection touches on difficult themes Fellmann dealt with during this time, such as alcoholism, drug abuse, abortion, suicide, overdose, rejection, mockery, isolation, death, madness, and heartbreak. The narrative draws inspiration from traumatic moments in his past and from the state of chaos we live in today as it attempts to understand the heart that beats beneath it all.
Review excerpt
“My favorite book by Hans Joseph Fellmann so far. He keeps his absurdist, I-feel-terrible-I’m-laughing vibe, and cuts into real poetry with a real clarity, brutal honesty, and storytelling. A fascinating form and a seriously good read.” ~ Dr. Daniel Morberg
Talking Shop
What do you want readers to take away from your books?
Each of my books is a door into my psyche. I make the writing easy so that opening the door is easy. Problem is, once you go through it, easiness turns into slipperiness, and you slide all the way down into the pit you didn’t know was there. And while you’re sitting alone in the dark, hugging your knees, wondering what the fuck just happened, that’s when I bring the daggers out.
See, I don’t give a shit about dumping my morals or politics or ideologies on you. All I wanna do is cut you deep, so you’re left with two choices: run like a little bitch back to mommy, or pick up your guts, look me in the face, and keep moving.
What is a fun or strange source of inspiration that ended up in your book?
In the mid 2000’s, a rapper out of Houston called Mike Jones used to shout his cellphone number at concerts and on songs. Although he racked up a hefty bill and had to change his number because of all the random callers, he did sell millions of records and went on to start his own label. To honor this brilliant piece of marketing, I used my own cellphone number as the title of a poem in this collection. It is one of my favorites.
What were your expectations for writing and publishing your first book? Have they changed since then?
When I wrote my first book, Chuck Life’s a Trip, which is based on a life-changing journey I took around the world with my childhood buddies in 2006, I expected, within a year, to find a medium-sized publisher, who would print, market, and distribute my book, give me a tasty advance on my second book, and provide me with enough royalties so that I could work part time as a teacher and live comfortably anywhere in Europe
Over a period of nine years, I queried some two hundred agents and publishers; all of them told me to go pound sand. I decided to fork over my own dough for an editor and cover designer and to publish the thing myself. It was a brain-blistering process, but in the end, I was satisfied with the product; the fact that I maintained complete creative control was nice too.
I went ahead and self-published my second book, Saving Jahan, which is based on my wild experiences as a Peace Corps volunteer in the Central Asian republic of Turkmenistan. I did the same with my newest book, The Heart That Beats, which, as mentioned above, is a poetry collection inspired by my life as a writer in Prague. It’s been a bear of a son of a bitch marketing and getting my books reviewed. I’m not expecting an interview on 60 Minutes any time soon, buy hey, I landed this interview, and I’m grateful.
How well do you handle criticism, either while writing, editing, or in reviews? Do you ever use that criticism to change your story?
I got my first bit of real criticism back in 2009 for some piddly little thing I wrote. I was so hurt, I locked myself in my room for two days and cried my sheets soggy.
After thousands of rejections, hundreds of negative opinions, and dozens of scathing reviews, I’ve developed a pretty thick hide when it comes to my work. That’s not to say some comments don’t still get under my skin; they do. But after a lot of bitching and more than a lot of weed smoke, I’m usually able to let the pain go and see the criticism for what it is. If I think it’ll help me tell the truth better, I’ll use it. If not, I’ll consign it to the dustbin and move on.
What skills have you acquired, or information have you learned from writing?
The greatest thing I’ve learned from writing is the value of being vulnerable. That may sound odd coming from a guy who spent years pouring his heart on a screen only to have it spit back in his face like cheap chardonnay from the mouth of a scorned date.
And while there’s been a lot of that, there’s also been a lot of good stuff: calls from friends saying they’d read my book and cried, letters from strangers filled with memories my work had dug up, chance encounters with people who’d seen me read in bars and laughed their asses off, and visits from loved ones, who said, “Hans, I wanted to tell you in person, your book inspired me.”
In all those cases, I knew I’d gotten my fingers into their marrow. And you can’t do that by writing birthday cards.
“What If” Scenarios
A wealthy reader buys 100 copies of your book and tells you to hand them out to anyone you wish. Who do you give them to?
I’d give 25 to friends and family, 25 to selected reviewers, 25 to strangers on the street, then I’d find 25 critics who’d shit on the books I love and send a copy of my book to each.
Your favorite character that you’ve written comes to life. What do you do together for 24 hours?
My work is semi-autobiographical so most of my characters are based on people I know. However, there is one fictional character who is still waiting for me to write him into existence. He is called Juan Pedro and he is a serial murderer of women. If I had twenty-four hours, I’d sit with him on a park bench and ask him to tell me his story. I’m afraid one day, I’ll have to do that very thing.
Your book becomes a best seller. What do you do next?
The night before I released my first book, I had a vision; I was at home in bed, and there were people outside screaming. They were fans, and they wanted to see me for some damn reason. I told them to take a hike. This pissed them off; they started pounding on the doors and walls. One chick with crazy hair and green eyes climbed onto the roof and started kicking at my bedroom window. She broke the glass, and I came to in a cold sweat. … Most people would throw a party. If my book becomes a best seller, I’m boarding my window.
You have final say over who reads the audio book version of your story. Who do you choose?
I hate audio books, but if pushed to make one, I would choose a narrator whose voice was so tremendously boring, it would force the listener to be a big boy or girl and actually read my book.
What famous artist or photographer would you want to create or capture your book cover image?
Egon Schiele is, without question, my favorite painter. He’s famous for his nudes, which exude a raw sexuality and brutal honesty you’d be hard pressed to find elsewhere. My next book is a compilation of confessional short stories. I’d want Schiele to paint a nude of me for the cover.
Just For Fun
What is your trademark feature?
I’ve always loved jewelry; there’s something about the glinting of metal and gems that just gets my dick hard. I’ve got a ton of the stuff. I like to switch my style up, but right now I’m flossin’ one watch, one bracelet, six rings, four chains, and two fatty pendants. All of them I collected while travelling. I also collect knives, btw.
Is there a book or a piece of music that changed your life?
In the winter of 1995, Sacramento rapper Brotha Lynch Hung released his debut studio album Season of Da Siccness. It took a couple of years to reach the streets of Livermore, my hometown, but when it did, it exploded like the wildfires consuming our hills today.
From the moment I heard the first song, I was hooked. It wasn’t just the dark beats and clever rhymes, it was the fact that here was a man with sicker thoughts than mine, talking about jump-roping with guts and boiling babies alive, and homeboy had the balls to lay all that shit on the track. With that album, Lynch taught me never to fear what goes on in your head, because it can always be made into art.
What place do you want to visit most?
I’ve already been to eighty-some countries on six continents, so I’ve seen my pretty share of places. There’s still a lot out there I wanna hit up, but if I had to choose one spot, this second, it would be Varanasi.
For those of you who don’t know, Varanasi is a city on the banks of the river Ganges in India. It is the holiest of all Hindu cities; so holy, that if they burn your corpse there, your soul will escape samsara (the cycle of death and rebirth) and achieve moksha (liberation). This seems like a pretty sweet deal. Certainly more than Vegas has to offer.
What is a talent you have, and a talent you wish you had?
I’ve always had a weird little yen for languages; gimme a month and a private tutor and I can stretch one out and put it to work for me pretty good. This goes for anything else that involves the word. Hence my predilection for writing. I’m not so great when it comes to music. I know what I like, and I got songs running through my head like freight trains all day. But ask me to touch one out on an instrument, and I’m fucked.
Classical piano has always calmed my nerves. I guess if I could have another talent, it’d be for that.
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
I want to be known as the guy who did the vanishing act, who disappeared into death, but left every skin cell and hair strand, every blood, spit, sperm, and tear drop, every bone splinter, every muscle fiber, every panic attack, nightmare, love letter, shit stain, and footprint on the pages of his books.
Author bio
Hans Joseph Fellmann is a writer and English teacher from Livermore, California. He has visited over eighty countries and lived in Spain, Turkmenistan, and the Czech Republic. A graduate of the University of California at San Diego, his articles and short stories have appeared in the UCSD Guardian, The San Diego Union-Tribune and The Prague Revue. He has published two novels: Chuck Life’s a Trip, based on a life-changing journey he took around the world with his childhood buddies in 2006, and Saving Jahan, which is anchored by his wild experiences as a Peace Corps volunteer in Central Asia. His latest book, The Heart That Beats, is a collection of confessional poems based on his life as a writer in Prague.
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