5 Things I’ve Learned After One Month of Being a First Time Mom by Jessica Petrilli

By: Jessica Petrilli

Today’s post is was written by Jessica Petrilli, a new mom who has learned a lot in her son’s first month. Below she shares five of the many things she’s learned about what it means to be a parent. Check out her new mom tips below!

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They’reee hereee! All the planning and stressing and wham, your baby has arrived. What a relief… kind of.  I took all the baby classes, listened to all of the advice, read the books, but there are some things that are only touched upon or widely understated.

Why?

Honestly, because I personally think it has to do more with motherhood than the baby itself. Motherhood is all about experience and trial/error. Everyone handles it differently and has their own methods to the madness. Hence, the constant “mom shaming” because everyone knows best.  So in no way shape or form am I telling moms “how it is.” I’m simply sharing 5 things I learned in such a short amount of time of being a mom.

1. Timing

Comedian Tom Segura said it best in his stand up special Disgraceful:

“If you’re wondering about it, about parenthood, you’re gonna have no more time. It’s ok, ‘cause you’ll still have moments. Time and moments are different.”

Nothing could be more true. Just the actual time in general, is totally different for me now because it revolves around my son’s schedule. Feed, burp, diaper change, repeat. Sprinkle in tummy time and the occasional bath.

Sounds easy enough, right?

No more coming home from work and taking a nap, vegging out watching TV, or checking out the new brewery that just opened up.  It’s also the stuff you take for granted like getting a shower and cooking dinner. Your time is now baby is due for a feeding or baby is crying.

You can’t just go grocery shopping or take a walk whenever you want. Because this small human needs you. You have to time everything out. And just because you do time something doesn’t mean it’s going to play out how you think.

Setting a schedule for you and your baby

The other day, I fed my son thinking I would have two hours in my day because he’d sleep afterwards, but he wanted to be up for another three hours, just wanting attention. So guess what, I couldn’t cook dinner. Things sometimes don’t work out, and you have to accept it.

People will tell you, get them on a routine, and get a schedule. It’s easier said than done.

Mind you, I’m on maternity leave right now. So I have the “luxury” of nailing down a schedule before I go back to work, but it’s still exhausting and it’s not like the baby just will do what you want it to do. You’ll learn to enjoy moments, such as getting an hour of peace just watching a TV show or finishing a cup of coffee.  All I can say, is when they’re sleeping, get as much as you can get done, accept help when offered, and don’t get upset if you don’t get to do everything done that you wanted. Tomorrow is another day!

2. Leaking and bleeding

Yes, I was informed I would bleed six weeks after giving birth. But my God, I didn’t know I would be buying adult diapers. It’s a lot of blood in particular those first two weeks, and I had a typical vaginal birth.

When you’re in the hospital, wear the hospital gown as long as you want. Because putting on pants sucks, and you’ll probably bloody them up. I took as much mesh underwear that they gave me as well as all the creams, ice packs, and numbing sprays. You can’t wipe. You basically get a spray bottle that’s like an old school “Squeez-It” drink, and you spray that to clean yourself up.

I’m still wearing pads five weeks later. Just when I think it’s done, boom, it makes itself known again. The good thing is there is no more pain, but geez!

I’m breastfeeding my son, and I’ve seen enough movies and TV shows to know that sometimes you leak breast milk. Mine is constant. CONSTANT. To the point where I cut up pads twice a day and put them in my nursing bra so I’m not soaked.

Oh and before this I never wore a bra when I was home, and now I have to sleep in one. And even then, I still wake up needing to change my bra and shirt. I’ll get a shower and hose down the damn place sometimes. Nothing I can do about it, it is what it is.

3. Baby products

I literally do not know how to work the bottle warmer someone gifted to me. I don’t know how to set up the activity gym. And if you ask me to break down the Pack-n-Play, I’ll probably end up beating it to death.

I can read the directions 10 times, and I still don’t know. I’ve had people try to help me and even as a team, we don’t know. It’s frustrating and makes you feel stupid when you can’t figure it out. Put a screaming baby in the background, and it’s a match made in hell.

Just step away; it’s not important. They’re one month old; it’s not going to ruin their day if you can’t get something to work. I’m a very visual person. So Googling something is not helpful to me.  I love YouTube because people will literally do it step by step, and I can pause and rewind.  Even basic stuff like re-learning to swaddle or soothing techniques are great videos to watch.

Also, baby products are expensive. Basic things ranging from sheets to liners and, of course, diapers and formula all cost a pretty penny. I don’t know how people afford it. We were lucky  to have our families and friends gift us with so many things that we didn’t go broke buying everything.  There were even people that I hardly know or haven’t talked to in forever who sent well wishes or gifts. It’s amazing how generous people can be when they hear you’re expecting.

However, as expensive some things can be, do not be tempted to accept hand-me-down items other than clothes or books. Car seats have an expiration date people; do not accept a used car seat.

4. Food and drink

Whoo whoo! Baby is out. I can drink wine and eat whatever I want again! Think again if you’re breastfeeding. It’s important to have good nutrition and drink plenty of water (mind you I have to take my own advice. I definitely don’t eat enough during the day).

It can literally mess with your milk supply. Don’t get me wrong, I downed a turkey sandwich, having missed lunch meat, just a few hours after my son was born. However, my problem lies more with liquids.

I keep forgetting to drink more water and less coffee. I was a big coffee drinker beforehand, and I missed it so. But staying hydrated is key.

Alcohol consumption

And beware of jumping back into alcohol. My husband bought me some milk test strips so I could drink and test my milk to make sure there was no alcohol left. They say about two hours after a glass wine is a good time to test. So I fed by son, put him down to sleep, and had my first glass. It was great and wow, my tolerance level was real low.

As soon as I finished by glass, my son woke up hungry. He was going through a growth spurt and wanted food ASAP. I tested my milk, and, sure enough, I had alcohol in it.

“Just pump and dump.”

Ok, well, when your baby is screaming for milk, it’s 8pm, and you’re a bit tipsy, it’s easier said than done. So I caved and gave him formula for the first time, which worked. However, it messed up my milk supply for the night, and my breasts became engorged. So when I could feed my son again, which was at 1am, I ended up soaking him because he couldn’t handle the power of stream that came out.  Poor planning on my part, I know.

5. Love

Before having a baby, I would roll my eyes at the constant Mom posts on Facebook. I would get annoyed with the daily baby pictures and stories. And don’t get me wrong, I still do (that’s a whole other issue). However, I get it now.

It’s love.

It’s absolutely love at first sight, especially if you do skin-to-skin when the baby comes. I can’t describe it.  You feel whole; it just feels right.

It’s also surreal, like “are they actually here? Is this actually happening?” but in a totally calm kind of way. I’ve even seen a side of my husband that I’ve never seen before. For the first time in his life, he seems vulnerable, and he has such pride in being a father. He can’t wait to come home from work and hold our son.

Even during my postpartum phase, which was horrible and scary, I never lost that love for him. There will be times where my son is screaming his head off, and I get a break, and about an hour into my break, I miss holding him and taking care of him.

Being a mom is hard. I don’t know if I’m doing anything right, I don’t know if I could be doing something better, I just don’t know. But I do know that I’m trying, and I want the best for him. I’m sure I’ll have a new batch of discoveries and thoughts as time goes on. One month down. 216 to go!

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